It’s Sunday, January 05, 2020… and I am glad to be able to write this post. I’ve had my surgery and made it through alright. I share that the journey of dealing with cancer is most amazing. Cancer is difficult and different for everyone… meaning that each person with cancer will have different affects and effects. So will the people close to us. I am now, just a couple of days over 2 months, but only from the surgery. When there are complications, recovery just from this major surgery is longer. Positively, I am less “sick” in terms of nausea and weakness, and yet, affected by pain of the incision and what appears to be inner abdominal pain. This pain is more than just uncomfortable. This is stronger at times and sometimes makes me “think” or “feel” something not-so-good is going on deep inside me.
I have found through having cancer that ONE – YOU AND OR, I – must be able to deal with loneliness, isolation and vulnerability. I’m telling you this because the people or the main person around you in your life must be willing and able to BECOME EDUCATED AND CAPABLE of being a positive support to and with you. As a person with the physical, emotional, mental and relational affects of cancer… it is number one important that your support system person or people SHOW AND DEMONSTRATE the actions of learning how to be truly supportive and able to accept “help and support” too – for themselves. After all, in this battlefield in life, a wounded or disabled soldier cannot help another properly. In fact, more than likely – would cause more injuries. So, eventhough you really can prepare to help a loved-one with cancer – it actually takes commitment born of love for the person with the actual cancer.
The capacity to be in healing relationship with a person with cancer requires basic good healthy values of character. From this base, you can help and if and when necessary, will get help yourself!