Methods and Techniques

• - Setting new points of reference to understand why and how present beliefs and thought processing are the way they are - thinking, acting, and reacting...
• - Clarifying what abuse or neglect is within natural living process
• Setting up the means and parameters to explore present beliefs and faith. 
• - Being able to keep acutely aware of the position and purpose the guide / helper at all times during the process is paramount to trust.
• Know how and why the guide / helper is walking with you on your journey.
• - Ability to internalize trust... accept trust to enable the fullest empowerment so you are able to acknowledge your true story, your journey. 
• - Know what is going to happen and asking for complete clarification of outcome? For complete safety.
• - Re-live or re-do with purpose for establishing clear - now and then, who and what... why and how discerning.
• Echo - Concretizing statements and states with purposeful centering communication.
• - Simplifying, clarifying, qualifying emotions and separating them from states of being or groups of emotions or pent-up distorted overwhelming states of being. Sorting out.
• - Rating trust to foster inner knowing, wisdom and knowledge
• Clarify and qualify ones true essence for safety and personal identification - re-orientation to the time and place in the present.

Visit here again... I will be expanding on this sharing. Please write to me at my email address AND implore you to let me add your writings that express your wishes dreams and hope for healing our world and our people.

Group Guidelines

1.    For the purpose of training I vow to refrain from taking life.

2.  For the purpose of training I vow to refrain from taking what is     not given.

3.      For the purpose of training I vow to refrain from sexual misconduct.

4.      For the purpose of training I vow to refrain from false speech.

5.    For the purpose of training I vow to refrain from intoxicants which lead to carelessness.
 
-translated by Gil Fronsdal, From "Teachings of the Buddha," edited by Jack Kornfield, 1993.

Guidelines are should be and yet universal to any healing group. The words here describe the spirit, the intent to provide safety and commitment to all people who are part of this group. Guidelines are for keeping the safety of all and to maintaining of the original spiritual purpose and focus for the healing the heart and mind and body.

To heal is the quest. It is a choice to take part in healing with others. To change destructive troublesome behaviors, thinking patterns, and unresolved, distorted feelings takes discipline and this takes trust.  By vowing to follow basic guidelines, each participant will be more trusting to venture further into their reasons for taking part in this healing group.

Other more specific guidelines are needed when dealing with emotional and or behavioral changing situations. Being on time is very important and so is attendance. Being attentive to and for all other members is another one that fosters trust and participation. 

Guidelines are necessary, just as the willingness of the participants to be active and conscious throughout the process of the group.

Another underlying purpose for having even more specific guidelines is to ensure that "old" coping and survival skills are kept to a minimum. To have safety and support and commitment to process requires discipline... this must be maintained throughout.  This is especially true when dealing with emotions.  Agreeing to follow the guide, the group focus, and talking of incidents or issues that may bring up unresolved feelings can cause one group member to focus on another. 

Guidelines state the participation and the discipline..

Speaking of the real issues in your life is difficult under any circumstances  By having the safety in this group, new ideas, concepts and ways are more readily available to create sustainable change in your life.  Group guidelines apply to all members.  It is not healthy to allow people to observe as this will would weaken the power of the group. 

All participants must know what is expected of them and how they must conduct themselves throughout the time that he group is together.

The Residue of Residential Schools is a dogma.  This was conditioned so violently, with such affect on some that many still to this day will not question any authority!  This dogma has ensured a "stranglehold" on our emotional, mental and physical health... and it still controls that part of the system of which our health and political leaders and administration and providers are part of.  With this so ingrained...  we, all of us are ensuring the creation a "Hard-Core - Hard-to-Reach" tribe of our own people. People who will never have any hope in getting or receiving effective help for their dysfunction which was created largely, by the "DOGMA" PEOPLE who ran the Residential Schools.
Now too, we have to deal with the lateral abuse - damage... we have done to one and other and still do.

I am not expressing racism or prejudice towards any race or religion. It is so very apparent to me... so very important for society - for you and I - to understand why and how these horrendous social - living problems came about and why they are staying and growing...  and then how to make sustainable change.

Re-Parenting or Re-Training???  What's the difference?

Retraining or reparenting referred to here is about changing what we learned to do with and about feelings or emotions on a daily basis or in times of stress. To deal with "new" emotions and "old" emotions takes discipline, yet it is not about denying or squashing down any part of our emotions which are our humanness. Having emotions means trouble especially when you only know - RAGE or Grief or TERROR!  All distorted and out of whack emotions - crazy stuff!

It is my goal to make the emotional work in healing become normal and safe as possible.  In my workshops and training sesions, I support you to remove the stigma, the shame from expressing emotions... through encouraging the release of pent-up, unresolved emotions in a safe manner. 

As helpers and healers we all must move beyond talking and acting healthy. We must develop the ability to have others be fully supported in dealing with their emotional "baggage" - The stuff that gets to the point of trouble.

I have seen how so many people claim to be healthy and then lead those who they are supposed to be helping down another distorted trail of crazy-making and shame... and locking them into a hopelessness and helplessness which they pass onto their children and it goes on and on...  to raising more dysfunctional followers and children.

Many of us, who work as administrators and helpers in mental health, are controlled by the psych-social mental health system. This system was established by the original "white, upper-class euro-Christian -acting MALE".  Many helpers, themselves, have made this decision consciously or subconsciously to stay within these confines because, if they don't, they won't work!  Many because they don't want to suffer anymore than they already have already. With the psychologists and even the master of social worker, it is because of the doctrine of psychology, which says that they must not share their personal stories because they may negatively influence clients. This is plainly... self-protection on their part and this creates such a barrier for Aboriginal peoples, who want and need to heal from the deep hurts and pains of oppression and the resulting lateral damage. This is only part of what we're up against and WE need to work on ourselves to have the capacity to deal with this complicated dysfunction.

  BUILDING  YOUR  ALTER  OR  SHRINE 
An alter or a shrine is a special place a sacred place and is the physical symbolic place for you to share - your praises, your worship, your blessings, your wishes  or dreams and amongst other "spiritual" practices, to share your prayers.  Your alter can be done to remind you of all that is "special" to you - sacred to you.  Your alter or shrine can have pictures of special beings or scenes or have a statue or sacred pipe, eagle feathers or other sacred objects. 
What I need to share with you is this -  
Look into your heart and "see" what you need to have there. 
Within my Alter, I have a buffalo skull and my pipe bag, eagle wing fan, sweet grass, sage,  cedar, abalone shell, my bone choker, my flutes and various colored  ribbons.  I have my alter in my living room and I am able to access it very easily.  I burn sage, sweet grass, cedar - separately or together, from time to time and I sit in front of my alter... most times to pray, sometimes to meditate and others - just to reflect.  I believe that all matter of thinking or thought is spiritual...  the thought process is "prayer" or sacred or spiritual.  So I don't just confine my prayer to sitting in front of my alter or shrine.  To have a shrine or alter is a blessing for you and for all who enter your lodge - your home.  Use it for your health and share it will, at the very least keep you aware of your quest for freedom... and I believe that with more peace and tranquility in your life you will begin to see the miracle you are... if you have discovered this already.  Blessings Kola - friend. 
Should you wish to contact me... please phone me at 
area code 204 - 224 -9520.
Initial meeting is free or at no-charge and then it is pay as you can afford.

Pilamaya, Meegwetch, Tansi... thank you.

 YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY AND PRIVACY ASSURED!

COMING SOON  -  the SolutiOnS Group  -   SolutiOnS Group - is a self-help group set-up to deal with everyday living problems or difficulties. This is done through a structured process that examines and promotes healthy expression of emotions and encourages physical movement as a vehicle to change energies. This process is based on Experiential Psychotherapy... This group is run much like ACA (Adult Children) or A.A. (Alcoholics Anonymous) and other self-help groups. There is a opening preamble and guidelines and the sharing is done with a guide (faciltator) who will set up the scenario or interests and will ensure group focus. While Experiential Psychotherapy is the main component of this group, other methods of healing/helping will be used - methods such art, music, dance movement and Gestalt will be used. The use of metaphors will be strong in dealing with every day thinking doing and feeling. As an Experientialist, I see that this approach as a valuable tool or method for those people who suffer or are troubled

This image is about me - The Spirit Warrior within - not of violence... of compassion and spirit. This a view or image of what I see as the basis on how I came to be originally and how I changed this way. .
The aspects of life that determined my image where: Family-of-origin, Society's "Accepted Distortion" influence, My own personal vision distortions based on my experiences.
I have worked to release - reframe my emotional package. While, I have worked hard to bring closure to many of my distortions about feelings and emoting, I know why and where the other distortions come from. I understand the truth about who I am. After spending many, many years in practical training, I live to help others to see and express their truth. This image is about me and my quest to be home amongst all peoples and to still be honorable as a Native North American Indian. Living as true to the original way as possible.

ADDICTION - While there are many descriptions of "addiction" - I like the one which defines addiction accordingly as an “unhealthy relationship between a person and a mood-altering substance, experience, event or activity, which contributes to life problems and their reoccurrence. “

AFM or Addictions Foundation of Manitoba - In the province of Manitoba, we have a provincial body that provides assessment, treatment, education, prevention, counseling, workshops, training and a library among other services to do with addictions - formerly known as the Alcoholism Foundation of Manitoba. Click on name to visit site. 

EXPERIENTIAL PSYCHOTHERAPY - simple is an eclectic type of therapy that focuses on dealing with emotions and their energies.  This is done through creating a safe, nurturing environment where the participant can learn of the process of dealing with emotions and the consequences of the resulting behaviors. There is careful and meticulous steps taken for the therapists to have done their own work. Heavy reliance on the use of metaphors and the trainings of psychodrama.

Medicate - To use a mood - altering or feeling - thinking "stopper". Use of a substance or activity... even a relationship (person) to the extent that your real or true emotions are avoided. This is done to the extent that a negative response is caused in self or someone around you. When you engage in a behavior that takes you away from "reality" and this activity or inactivity is done on a regular basis.  This can be defined by yourself or someone "close" or affected with you.  An example is - Reading every night to fall asleep. Or having an alcohol drink before going out to socialize.  Or having to go for a run everyday.  Smoking the "occasional" cigarette... drinking the "odd" cup of coffee is medicating! There are important aspects to being conscious and aware of your actions and behaviors... doing so puts you "more" in control of making the positive changes you want in your life. Talking of these aspects of our own healthiness is one thing... dealing with the position of vulnerability or "feelings" (shame) involved with "not" being perfect is sometimes very very difficult.  Take the time to ask yourself....  "What is it that I do not want to think about or talk about? What is it that I trying to avoid? And what are the feelings involved? Do I even know? What is it that I do not want to feel?"  Today: I no longer just dream or wish to dream to live more conscious and aware. I am!

Stockholm Syndrome - An armed hostage taking situation that took place in Stockholm, Sweden.  In the end the police captured the criminals and freed the hostages and then some of the victims ended up marrying some of the hostage takers.  Even though they were terrorized... They bonded to the gun welding criminals and a couple of women married their captors.  This is a trauma bond.

NLP - Neuro-Linguistic Programming It is a form of positive thinking... kind of like - if you don't think of the problem, then it won't effect you.  NOT TRUE... While it is important for some deeply depressed person to be able to quickly use this type of method for temporary relief, as a kind of emergency first aid,  for, say -  an anxiety attack. Where you will literally talk to your self and say something like "I'm OK, I am calming down...  etc etc". NLP does not deal with the core reasons of why you had the attack in the first place! For true emotional  practitioners of healing and helping NLP is considered as emotional- by-pass surgery because we see that in order to affect sustainable and quality  change in anyone's life that the approach to the best behavioral changes comes through dealing with feelings.  NLP can be used as a discipline tool in conjunction to other forms of health and wellness. NOT by itself... It is like that new video circulating called, "The Secret" where producers profess - if you think, pray about it and it will come true!!  Wow! And the other part is prayer. This another form of positive thinking for some people... Maybe this where NLP started? 

Religious Fundamentalism - Is the Colonialist religious teachings. Is the disconnection that is religion, NOT natural faith or expression of gratitude for life and creation and Mother Earth and all this entails.
We as Native Americans once were living in a complete natural way of life with conscious connection to all other life. There was time when we knew no other way.
So many of us have adopted a controlling - a learned dogma = ideology of an organized fundamentalist approach to faith... this happened to so many of us...  This is how the Christians (unhealthy distorted ones) came.
 It is where people who were not true, they were mixed-up and were misrepresenting say - Jesus Christ and then there are  new other religions... these distorted people came to us... and infiltrated us and infected us Native Americans with a doctrine of "practice" and "portrayal" of our faith ways as "acts of confession and deception" - this is the disconnection that many of us practice today.  Religious fundamentalism is where we have bought into that SPIRIT is separate from all other aspects of living and life. 
This is why we are staying so fundamentally stuck in acting like Native American Distorted Religious Fanatics... calling one and other historical, derogatory and human-demeaning names... and we do it in conjunction with a "so-called professed sacredness!"  Another Wow!

 The Five Freedoms...
TO SEE AND HEAR... what is here, instead of what should be, was, or will be.

TO SAY...  what one feels and thinks, instead of what one should.

TO FEEL... what one feels, what one ought.

TO ASK...  for what one wants, instead of always waiting for permission.

TO TAKE RISKS...  in one's own behalf, instead of choosing only to be "secure", and not rocking the boat.
from  Virginia Satir

Take what you like and leave the rest!  Don't waste your time fighting - go out and find the love you want and need.  It is apparent that when I stayed and fought - that I was just - being a fundamentalist... I was doing exactly what I preached against - fighting. Only I was doing it with more tact and more intellectual ignorance!  Hey this is a process and challenge is good... when it comes to challenge - it is an unbiased thought process for the one being challenged!  The greatest part of challenge is grow from it!  When your heart is true and you are committed to doing right - then you will grow from the challenge. Pilamaya, Mitakuye Oyasin 2007